Nicked shamelessly from http://www.grandprix.com - hope they don't mind if I tell you all it's a great site..........
"Kerpen Car Crash Insurance Services, how can I help you?
Yes, Mr. Schumacher, I have your policy here. Do you really expect us to believe that? A Japanese gentleman on a motoring holiday through the Ardennes in a Honda? Seems a bit unlikely? You do come up with them don't you sir? We have on our records here your last claim concerning a Scotsman in a Mercedes whom you believed was trying to kill you a few years back on the very same road. Yes, Mr. Schumacher, we know it's an Accident Black Spot, we're still trying to sort the claim for a 13 car multiple crash here back in 1998. All right Mr. Schumacher, we will agree to process your claim in this instance. Oh, just another question before you go. Have you modified your vehicle in any way? You've fitted it with Bridgestone tyres, you say? In that case, I'm sorry Mr. Schumacher but that invalidates your claim. Goodbye.
"Monchengladbach Motor Insurance, how can I help you? I'm sorry sir, I can't hear you very well. Are you on a speaker phone? If so, maybe you'd be good enough to pick up the receiver. What's that? You can't because you've dislocated your fingers? OK, never mind. Your name? Yes Mr. Heidfeld, what seems to be the trouble? I don't understand, are you reporting a car theft or an accident? One theft and two accidents! You had a crash in Italy, then a Brazilian man took your car away and while cycling to Belgium to get it back, you fell off your bike? No sir, that's no problem at all. We'll cover all your costs. It's only if you had been doing something really dangerous like playing tennis with a Colombian that we would have refused the claim. Goodbye."
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