I can see it now...Jersey Tom wrote:Want a pure driver evaluation with zero emphasis on car or setup? Have the F1 grid line up in Spec Miatas.
Vettel qualifies on pole, and he streaks away at a second a lap. Schumacher qualified very strongly in second but retires after three corners because of a faulty CD changer in what is his eighth retirement of the season. Vettel dominates the race only to retire just before halfway due to a mysterious mechanical failure. He gets out of the car, slams his helmet to the ground, gives the finger to everyone and storms off. He makes sensational claims to the press afterward about how "the Man is keeping me down" and accuses the Spec Miata Association of giving him an unreliable car to spice up the show. Helmut Marko agrees, and Team Miata Gives You Wings is fined $250 after the race.
Meanwhile, Lewis Hamilton has benefited from Vettel's misfortune and now leads the race from Raikkonen and Alonso, with Perez in fourth. Ten laps from the end Raikkonen's tires fall off the cliff and he is helpless to defend. His Lotus-Miata falls out of the points. Perez, sensing a chance for the first podium of his Spec Miata career, charges forward after Alonso but in his overzealousness loses control, spins and clatters his Sauber-Miata into the barrier. Hamilton leads by 11 seconds from Alonso.
At the start of the last lap Hamilton's tires have given up the ghost and he is being reeled in at 3 seconds per sector. Meanwhile Maldonado has blazed forward to third from ninth on the grid by driving around, over and through everyone in his path, and now sets his sights on Alonso. The Spaniard in his wisdom actually drives off the track in an effort to avoid contact with the Venezuelan. Maldonado takes advantage of the wide berth and sets off after Hamilton, whose Pirellis have disintegrated so badly he is now driving on the rims. He radios to the pit wall that he has "absolutely no grip at all," and asks "whose frickin' idea was it to only do a one-stop?"
Maldonado catches up to Hamilton, who gives no quarter. Going into the final corner Hamilton runs Maldonado off the road and heads for the chequered flag, but no! Maldonado has inexplicably speared straight back toward the Englishman's passenger door and the two crash, leaving their cars splayed in the middle of the start/finish straight. Alonso tiptoes through the mess to collect his third win of the season and the championship lead. Rosberg takes a surprise second while Webber storms through from 17th on the grid to take the final podium spot.
Hamilton is philosophical afterwards, telling reporters "You've got to go for the win, man" and "I'm never going to change my style." Maldonado meanwhile lays into the "idiot" Hamilton and accuses him of "doing a dangerous move on me." Martin Whitmarsh and Frank Williams schedule a private reconciliation between their two drivers at the next race.
